Clear Is Kind. Unclear Is Unkind.

By: Asbel Monte, Co-Founder & Managing Partner SGS

Brené Brown said it simply: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

My sister offers an equally important reminder: “Truth without kindness is brutality.”

Somewhere between those two statements is where leadership lives.

Healthcare is not going through a rough patch. We are experiencing disruption that is changing organizations, redefining roles, and forcing leaders to make decisions faster than many of us are comfortable with. In moments like these, strategy matters. Experience matters. But one of the most important leadership skills is something much more personal:

The willingness to have the conversation you would rather avoid.

Before I step into one of those conversations, I try to ask myself two questions.

First: Does this conversation serve the person or the situation?

Not every conflict deserves your time or your energy. Sometimes disruption is manufactured. Sometimes someone is creating a crisis where one does not exist. Sometimes people want a reaction more than they want a resolution.

As leaders, we have to develop the discernment to know the difference.

Some issues will resolve themselves. Others will not. Those are the situations where leadership requires us to sit down, listen carefully, clarify what is happening, and work toward real alignment.

But there is a caution here.

That same filter can become an excuse.

“It’s just noise” may be true. Or it may be the story we tell ourselves because we do not want to have a difficult conversation.

If you are repeatedly thinking about the conversation you are avoiding, there is probably a reason.

The second question is this: Am I being kind, or am I simply being nice?

Those are not the same thing.

I recently had a conversation with a colleague about a decision that had been repeated, interpreted, softened, and eventually turned into something it was never intended to be. No one was trying to mislead anyone. But because no one had been direct enough, people were left confused about where things actually stood.

That is what can happen when we mistake being nice for being kind.

Being nice often avoids discomfort. It leaves things unsaid. It softens the message until the meaning becomes unclear.

Kindness is different.

Kindness tells the truth with respect. It communicates clearly while still recognizing the dignity of the person on the other side of the conversation. It does not require us to be harsh, but it does require us to be honest.

When I coach someone through a difficult situation, I often encourage them to say:

"Here is where I stand, and here is why."

That is not unkind.

That is clear.

There is another reality we do not discuss often enough: You are not always going to make the right decision. Neither are the people you lead.

We have to become comfortable with both.

When a decision does not produce the outcome we expected, our first responsibility should be to understand what happened—not immediately determine who is to blame.

Seeking to understand takes more time than assigning blame. It also creates a much better opportunity to learn.

That is what I mean by failing forward.

It requires us to name the miss honestly, learn from it, and make a better decision the next time. But the conversation cannot become a judgment about someone’s value or worth. We can be accountable without being destructive. We can address the decision without defining the person by it.

So, my challenge to you this month is simple: Think about the conversation you have been avoiding.

Ask yourself: Does it serve the person? Does it serve the situation? Or is it simply noise?

If it is real, have the conversation.

Do not choose the brutal version. Do not choose the vague, overly polite version that leaves everyone guessing.

Choose the clear version.

How we respond to disruption—rather than simply react to it—will determine whether we successfully navigate this moment or allow the moment to navigate us.

Get uncomfortable.

Then get to work.